Libido

Posted on 24th March 2012 in Non Kink, Ponderings

I want to preface this post by pointing out that I spent over an hour trying to remember the word for “sex drive!”…

My libido has always been a bit hit and miss. As a young teen when my hormones first kicked in it was definitely a hit, but when I hit 16 or 17 it was downhill and it’s never really picked up properly since.

That might seem odd given that I write a kink blog and consider myself a kinky person, but I think that’s why I wanted to write about it, to ponder aloud what the hell my libido is playing at!

There are times that usually last from a week to a month where I can’t get enough, where I am rampantly horny, dream of sex, masturbate often and want nothing more than a man (always a man in that case) to grab me, force me to the bed and have his, oh so evil (yet consensual), way with me.

However, the rest of the time months will pass without even a hint of lust. If it weren’t for someone mentioning it, it wouldn’t even cross my mind. It isn’t a need or a want, in fact it becomes something I dislike and want nothing to do with when it does come into my field of vision (so to speak). Those times might be easy right now, while I’m single, but in a relationship it’s hard.

So there it is, laid out for you! I’m a part-time kinkster and I don’t want to be! Any tips and tricks?

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30 Days of Kink: Day 30

Posted on 13th March 2012 in 30 Days of Kink, Non Kink

Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

 On not being X/Y/Z enough

I go through phases of kink. I’m kinky all the time, but there are times, a lot of times, where I don’t feel kinky enough. There’s so many ‘hardcore’ kinksters out there and I find it impossible to not compare myself with them: they don’t mind doing this, they love that, they do all these things I can’t…it goes on.

So now is one of those times where I find myself pondering if I should just drop out of kink for good and accept that I’m never going to be a good submissive because of my limitations and fears that I shan’t go into here, well, not right now anyway. Suffice to say they are unchangeable.

I don’t want to, when I don’t feel like this I love kink and when I’m enjoying it with someone special it’s the best thing ever, but right now I have no one special (in a LTR sense) and am beating myself up about all my failings and wondering if it’s worth it. Afterall, it’s supposed to be fun, not a lesson in all the things you suck at/can’t do.

The 2 Dom’s I’m currently playing with are understanding, but I still feel like I’m letting them down all the time and I hate that, but I can’t just magically change who I am and how I am.

*sighs*

I shall now stop rambling and promise a naughty post next time.

http://www.insatiabledesire.com/2010/08/09/thirty-days-of-kink/

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30 Days of Kink: Day 29

Posted on 6th March 2012 in 30 Days of Kink

Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

In general my title of choice is “girl,” interspersed with “whore,” “dirty slut,” and suchlike. I’m more of a little than a submissive; I like to be loved as well as used. I like to mean something to the person I’m playing with and have a Daddy to look after me, especially in long term relationships.

I like the use of titles, for me they help to establish the boundaries and rules, it’s a sign that I must remember my place and stay there. It also reminds me how much I love my place!

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30 Days of Kink: Day 7

Posted on 6th March 2012 in 30 Days of Kink

What’s your favourite toy?

The Bcurious from Bswish.

I’m assuming you want more than that…

What’s to say, it’s a vibrator, but it’s gorgeously shaped and beautiful and it has loads of settings and is packaged amazingly and is just perfect! And it gives me awesome orgasms.

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Titty Tuesday

Posted on 21st February 2012 in Photos

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A fresh and clean morning

Posted on 20th February 2012 in Photos

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I’m baaaaaack!

Posted on 19th February 2012 in Non Kink

Back from under my non-kinky rock I shall be blogging stories, fiction and non-fiction, photos (lots of those), plans, thoughts and anything else that takes my fancy.

You will be reading and spanking me via the comments section!

So now we know where we stand!

p.s. Hope you like the theme!

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30 Days of Kink: Day 6

Posted on 16th January 2011 in 30 Days of Kink

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

*ahem* I will admit to not being entirely comfortable sharing that! So I’ll give you the closest: Santa! Although it seems it’s not as weird as it may appear!

Maybe I’m just not that weird or interesting! I like fairly generic stuff: hand on the throat while being fucked, being thrown about, anal. I’m just a vanilla kinkster really!

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30 Days of Kink: Day 5

Posted on 7th January 2011 in 30 Days of Kink, Erotica

I’m still trekking through the 30 days of kink! Today’s question is:

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

I think I probably covered this in my last post so I’m trying to think of something new! So I’m going to share another childhood fantasy of mine instead!

As you drive up to the house you see a girl either side of the door, each in a cage suspended from the roof. Both girls are naked and just out of reach, they are purely decorative and not for touching.
Walking through the front doors you are greeted by a man in a suit, he is polite but immediately asks what you are looking for, if you have any specific requirements. You tell him that you are just looking, seeing what is available, and don’t intend to purchase today. He nods and shows you through. This is your first time in one of these places and you are initially shocked by what you see; one long corridor with windows all the way down on both sides. The windows are floor to ceiling and allow for a view of the girls behind them. The shock quickly subsides as you realise that this is how it should be; girls there for your pleasure, toys to do with as you please.

Each room is stone, more a dungeon than a room. Some contain toys that they have been ordered to play with, some more than one girl, some are tied down having orgasms ripped from them by machines while they scream and cry for it to stop. You see a girl you like the look of, she is tied to the wall with a hitachi pressed against her cunt, she is screaming, shaking and crying. You point at her, “stop it,” you say. The vibrations cease and she looks at you, her eyes conveying their thanks. “Remind me to try her on my next visit,” you say almost thinking out loud, “carry on.” The hitachi turns back on and you see her throw her head back as it tears yet more screams from her throat. “Definitely make sure I try that one,” you murmer.

You wander down the corridor taking in the different sights. Noting down which girls take your fancy, taunting some of them, demanding they display themselves or dance for you. You take in how they move, how they look, how they sound, how well they suffer. This really is the life. You tell them as you leave when you will be returning and which girls you want to see and as you drive off you cannot wait for your next visit.

(Obviously in my fantasies I was one of the girls but it’s hard to write it from that POV!)

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30 Days of Kink: Day 4

Posted on 29th December 2010 in 30 Days of Kink

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I wouldn’t say they hint at it so much as yell it from the rooftops! I had lots of Barbies and they were all sex slaves to Aladdin (the one Ken doll I had), several of them remained naked at all times, there was lots of orgies, lesbian sex and “rape.” On several occasions Jasmine disobeyed and was beaten, tied up naked, gang raped and generally punished.

When I got a baby born for Christmas one year rather than using the accessories for the doll I used them for me, I kept a potty in my bedroom and imagined groups of men watching me pee in it, I used the bottle to give myself mini enemas (though I didn’t know that’s what they were).

In primary school I had a friend who, in hindsight, was my Domme. We spent lots of time together playing sexually. One time I remember vividly I was naked and lying down on my bedroom floor and she wrote on me in lipstick (I don’t recall what) and inserted pencils, pens and various other objects into me.
Another time we were at her house playing and her little brother came in and she shut me in her wardrobe, totally naked.

I’ve already written about one of my fantasies during childhood, that was every time I had a shower. I had others which I will write about in the future.

So yea, I was way past hinting!

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