Libido

Posted on 24th March 2012 in Non Kink, Ponderings

I want to preface this post by pointing out that I spent over an hour trying to remember the word for “sex drive!”…

My libido has always been a bit hit and miss. As a young teen when my hormones first kicked in it was definitely a hit, but when I hit 16 or 17 it was downhill and it’s never really picked up properly since.

That might seem odd given that I write a kink blog and consider myself a kinky person, but I think that’s why I wanted to write about it, to ponder aloud what the hell my libido is playing at!

There are times that usually last from a week to a month where I can’t get enough, where I am rampantly horny, dream of sex, masturbate often and want nothing more than a man (always a man in that case) to grab me, force me to the bed and have his, oh so evil (yet consensual), way with me.

However, the rest of the time months will pass without even a hint of lust. If it weren’t for someone mentioning it, it wouldn’t even cross my mind. It isn’t a need or a want, in fact it becomes something I dislike and want nothing to do with when it does come into my field of vision (so to speak). Those times might be easy right now, while I’m single, but in a relationship it’s hard.

So there it is, laid out for you! I’m a part-time kinkster and I don’t want to be! Any tips and tricks?

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Anonymity

Posted on 14th November 2010 in Ponderings

I’d love to put photos up on here but I’m currently pondering how much to reveal, specifically whether to avoid face shots. Now I know that a lot of folks don’t care about the face but I think that the face sells the photo, the look in the eyes, the giveaway smile, that kind of thing. Of course the downside to that is that should a friend or family member, or worse employer, somehow wind up on this blog there’s no talking my way out of it!

Obviously there are ways certain people will recognise me, I blog elsewhere about non-kinky things and my writing style will no doubt be comparable, some people will put two and two together, but I’m hoping to use this blog as an outlet for the kinky side of myself where those that don’t understand it don’t see it. I’ll definitely be posting some naughty stories (when I’ve finished them) and will no doubt be sharing any exciting exploits, but for some reason I feel the urge to post photos too. Maybe I’m secretly an exhibitionist and I never knew!

I’m also a bit wary of linking this blog to my Fetlife account (and vice versa), mainly because that currently links to my other blog, other twitter and will make me easily recognisable. *Sigh* It’s tough trying to be anonymous! Suggestions would be much appreciated!

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Control

Posted on 28th September 2010 in Ponderings

Or lack of it in my case. As a submissive I take great pleasure in handing over control of all aspects of my life to the person I am playing with, currently that is my Sir. When we started playing he assumed control of my clothing and my orgasms as well as my training. I absolutely love to have him tell me what I can and can’t wear, it makes me feel like such a good little girl to do as I’m told and I love that :) It also allows me to be slutty without having to take responsibility for it! There are things that I would never wear/do if it wasn’t for him telling me to and it become a constant reminder for the whole day that I am his.

Firstly, being horny the whole time makes me feel very submissive! Knowing that no matter how close I come to orgasm I’m not allowed to go over that edge makes me so happy, it makes me feel owned. I love to know that he can take me whenever he likes, and I know that he loves it too.

The most difficult part of Sir’s clothing control has been the removal of panties. Panties are, for me, an essential part of my clothing. I only ever remove them for showers and sex, other than that I amĀ guaranteedĀ to be wearing some form of pant. Sir immediately recognised this boundary and put a ban on panties at home, meaning that if I was in the house I was not allowed to wear them, mean mean man! It has been a huge personal challenge for me to make the progress that I have with this and, amazingly, with his encouragement I have spent an entire day panty free, a work day I might add, in a skirt. I have walked home several times with no panties on and spent most of my time at home without them. It has saved me a huge amount of washing! I could never do it on my own, I would feel far to vulnerable, but feeling vulnerable for him is so wonderful :)

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